Metrix

At the end of my last post, I vowed to start learning more about photography and about business. I had signed up for a free workshop that would give me access to 7000 free courses, many of them on business topics. So, Thursday, I did my Metrix workshop. I signed up to get my license and I chose my first three classes. I choose Achieving Goals through Perseverance and Resilience, Competitive Factors in Strategic Marketing, and Improving Your Image. The way it works is, you take the workshop and then they have to set up your account for you - they email your login information to you. I was concerned that it would take a few days to get my account and I would lose my momentum, but when I checked my email Thursday night, my info was ready!

I quickly logged in and started my first class - the goals one - and I quickly learned my first Metrix lesson: I suck at it. I'm not sure why. But I ended up writing down the answers and using the cheat sheet to get a high enough percentage to finally pass the damn course. What Metrix estimated as a one hour course took me almost two. Looking back, I realize that my problem started when I launched a test very early in the course and became discourage after doing poorly - I didn't realize that it was a pre-test. Also, the questions weren't simple. I had to carefully read every question and then every answer, and often I never was able to figure out exactly why some of my answers were wrong and the ones they liked were right. I think I may have been reading too much or too little into the questions - sometimes the answers I liked could have been good ones, but I was working in peripheral information and "possibilities" that, because they weren't covered by the course, weren't accepted. For example, I thought it would boost the success rate of one's goal to tell co-workers about it. Personally, I think it would help me. But Metrix said not to go boasting to others about a goal when it's not anyone else's business but yours. So my course meta-think brings me this: pay attention to the course roadmap and take into consideration each and every word in all questions AND answers. What did I learn from the course content? In the four-step process to overcome obstacles, I have only ever done the first step, which is to recognize the situation. Actually, part of step one is not taking obstacles personally. Fail. When the thing doesn't work, I just shit-can the whole thing. So of course I haven't ever gotten to step two, which is to "maintain a positive attitude... control any negative reactions... avoid making self-defeating assumptions about your abilities... challenge pessimistic beliefs... focus on successes..." and the final thing I've never done (see previous post!)... "Remember that one failure doesn't mean your goal is no longer valid or possible." Um... no wonder.

For now, my new goal is to not take obstacles personally: that's part of step one. So right now, I'm going to start my second course. I think I'll do the Marketing class. It's only two and a half hours long instead of three like the other one, and the other one looks sort of personal. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. I just want to talk about a process right now and not about myself. Wish me luck.

I'm Not Giving Up

Many times, I have had every intention of sitting down and starting my DAILY blog about my booming photography business (that I don't have yet). Many times, I have restarted. That means that I had stopped previously. Many times - in fact, every time - I have admonished myself for not trying hard enough, for not being consistent, for not "just doing it". No patience. Just a lot of trash talk.

If a student disses him or herself, I may very likely roll up a piece of paper and whack that person on the shoulder with it (slowly, while carefully watching their face - only smiling people get whacked!). If I diss myself, I take it as gospel and decide I'm worthless. Why is that?

I was a successful student. I got decent (not great) grades in high school, and did even better in college - my enormous student loan payments attest to the fact that I have three degrees - two Master's. What I suck at, so far, is starting a photography business. It's just not something I'm good at, so I chisel that "fact" in stone and give up. I took a photography class as a high school student - I didn't have time in my schedule, so my mom paid for me to take a class on weekends at the local community college. I didn't get far, though, because there was a creeper in the class and I didn't like being in the darkroom with him. What did I do? I quit, I'm sure with out telling anyone about that guy. I just gave up.

But I keep coming back to photography, and not just as a hobby - why? There must be something in it for me.